Grandmother Darling

On November 9 my grandma passed away after complications from surgery and an infection she just couldn't shake. I tried to act cavalier about it all. She had been ill for about 9 months, and with each passing month my mom told me she was getting worse. At the end, it was a matter of when, not if, she would pass away. So when my mom called me that morning, I immediately sprang into action arranging plane tickets, leave from work, dog boarding, and even got my nails done to look presentable for her service. But when I arrived at the funeral home Friday night, nothing could prepare me for the overwhelming emotions. The next 48 hours were a roller coaster of emotions. I'd feel fine and I'd be joking with my cousins, and BAM I'd realize I couldn't call her to ask her about sewing. Or I'd be taking a shower and BOOM I'd start crying because I realized Grace would never have the pleasure of knowing such a wonderful woman.

When someone dies, it's hard to see the silver lining of the cloud. I want so much to think that she's in a better place and free from pain, but all I think is that facing the looming obstacle of motherhood without my go to gal will be so hard. Don't get me wrong- I love my mom. We are besties and sisters and mother and daughter all rolled into one. But I call my mom and say "what does it mean if Grace's face is broken out?" and she says "I don't know, I don't remember if that happened with you." I call my Grandma and ask her the same question and she draws on years of experience raising 3 kids and usually gives me a spot on answer and advice to go along with it.

The best thing that I have seen come out of this sadness is a glimpse into the rare love that my grandfather had for her. Here's the paragraph he wrote for the back of her funeral program. Penned the day of her death, it only touches the surface of how deeply he cared for her.

He looked down at her tired and wasted body.  But he saw the fifteen year old girl he fell in love with on that playground so many years ago.  He saw the 21 year old bride walking down the aisle toward him.  He saw the 26 year old mother of three smiling as he came in the door from night school.  He saw so many more images from over the years.  He saw beauty, and grace, and sweetness, and love.
The man leaned over and kissed her. "If this beauty is a hint of the beauty of God, then this is a God I can love.  If your goodness is a hint of the goodness of God, this is a God I can love.  If our love is a hint of God's love for us, this is a God I can love.  Mary, you show me what God must be like, and I love you for it.  Be still and go with God now."
She took one last breath and was gone.  And he cried a little, not for her death but for the wonder of the life she had given him -- a 53 year love affair that never ended.
And he would keep her in his heart until it was his time to go, and the love affair would go on forever.  He smiled at the thought.

Their story was a real life Nicholas Sparks novel. It was the Disney movie Up. It was the stuff that people yearn for, well, forever. I consider myself pretty damn lucky to have this kind of relationship to look up to and strive for in my own marriage.

Here are some photos of my grandma. She will be truly missed.

                                                                                                                                               

Time Management and New Motherhood

I've been really struggling lately with managing my time wisely, and getting done all the things I need to do as well as the things I want to do. I find myself getting sucked into pinterest, watching TV, or... well, I don't really know where the rest of my time goes.

I've never been a huge fan of New Year's resolutions. It's a quick let down, as I usually manage to stick with them for about a day. So instead, this month I'm going to make an effort to get done not only the things I need to do, but a few things I want to do. I'll call it "operation save mom's sanity."

Tonight my goal is to make a list of things that MUST get done, things that SHOULD get done, and things I WANT to get done. It's going to be hard because I find that someone is actually stealing a few hours from me each week. I haven't found the culprit, but I swear I'm missing some time. This will force me to take serious inventory and set priorities. Don't worry, blogging will be a priority- it's part of my sanity.

Welcome to Brooklyn!

It's about time I posted something about living in the city. Y'all probably wonder if I ever go on the subway with my stroller, what with all my lame posts and whatnot.

Today I did something that really solidified in my mind that I live in New York City. I watched the runners in the New York City Marathon from my block in Brooklyn. Getting tired of yelling "wooo" and "yeah!" I decided I was going to do the polite southern thing and so I yelled "Welcome to Brooklyn y'all!" I think it made my borough seem friendly. Glad I could do my part, Mayor Bloomberg can thank me later.

The reporter in me was having a field day imagining the assignments I could make up out of this race. Sure, there are the obligatory "what's your weepy story" segments. But what I found pretty interesting was the choices in clothing. I looooved seeing the girls in their cute get ups, the guys in their crazy costumes (26.2 miles in costume? no thanks!) and the fun ways people ramped up excitement for the big day. My favorite shirts were the ones with people's names on them- I loved being able to cheer *for* someone rather than yell generic things at them. Here are a few ton of photos from our morning:

It was nice to see the people of Bay Ridge go out to support the runners!

This is about mile 2.5

So many runners!

Watching all these runners makes her sleepy.

Run Forest, run!

How cute is she in her tutu? Freakin adorable!

The girl in pink has a pink tiara. My picture doesn't really do it justice.

She decided to wake up and greet some athletes.

Lovin the bright shirts. They look like besties!

I'm not gonna lie, I'd be pissed if someone dribbled a ball while I was trying to run a race. 

The next wave of runners

Helo in the sky, there were TONS of them out 

Look at Miss Bumblebee! I wonder if she kept the wings on the whole time?

The pace balloons

The guy in blue has no shoes on. None.

Super heroes

Flags for skirts

Fun mohawks

This guy seriously kicks ass. 

How cute! I wonder if they held hands the whole way.

If this guy can do it, why can't I? Cause I'm a weenie.

Oh hey ma, I'm gonna nap now.

He said "did you see 45,000 people go that way?" What a hoot!

Another cute NYC marathon outfit.

Marathons can really drain the energy out of ya!

Always love to see runners in Vibrams! (the girl in purple and blue)

More super heroes!

She had a great smile and she is rockin that tutu!

Santa is working off those cookies early.

I would think this one would interfere with breathing?